Monday, 1 August 2016

Jennospot 125 - Gangs

Oi dunno about yew, but most of the people wot Oi know belong ter some sort o’ gang.

O’ course, they don’t often call it a gang, but give it some sorta name loike, club, or society, association, or party, wot don’t prevent it being a gang, loike in the proverb about birds of a fevver gangin’-up tergevver, if’n yew see wot Oi mean.

Lots o’ gangs are made up of the people wot live in the same place, loike the first gang  wot Oi was in the Pepper Mill Lane Mob until Oi ‘ad a row wiv JJ the leader, about girls bein’ second class members. Oi said as ‘ow ‘ee were a rotten ol’ misogynist, so ‘ee chucked me out, even though Oi don’t reckon as ‘ow ‘ee even knows wot the word means. Since then Oi’ve been in a couple of ovver gangs, wot shows yew as ‘ow yew c’n be in more’n one gang at a toime, if’n yew want.


One o’ them gangs is called “Gang America”, even if’n Oi ain’t American, an’ ain’t never been out o’ moi village o’ Widdlington, ‘cept ter go ter London by train one toime, wot were a real ol’ barney.


Any’ow, them wot was in “Gang America”, ‘ad a bit of a difference of opinion wiv the commandant of the US Army Air Force Base wot were built near our village, so we all ‘ad ter gang-up tergevver against ‘im ter ‘elp ‘im see reason, as it were. P’raps we ought ter ‘ave called it a “party”, ‘cos it were mostly about politics, rights, an’ territories, loike in the USA wiv the drummin’ Democrats an’ the trumpetin’ Republicans. Only it weren’t really no ‘appy fun party, wot with the war an’ the bombers an’ everyfink.


Some gangs get tergevver ter commit crimes, loike them Chicago gangs when prohibition come in, or wot go about stealin’ money an’ stuff. We kids in Widdlin’ton ‘ad a run in with one o’ them sorts o’ gangs, wot tried ter pinch the money wot ‘ad been collected ter ‘elp buy a Spitfire aeroplane. They weren’t ‘alf a dangerous lot, but cripes, sometoimes yew’ve got ter do wot yew’ve got ter do, ‘specially if’n yew’re in love…


That’s probably enough from me fer now, about gangs. But Oi’d jus’ loike ter say as ’ow Oi’m real glad ter be in moi gang, ‘cos wivvout it, Oi’d feel real lonely, loike “Duke” Taylor, wot ain’t got no gang ‘cos ‘ee lives in a sort o’ no-mans-land, where there aren’t no ‘ouses anywhere near. Still an’ all, ‘ee’s a real noice kid…


Luv from, Jenno…


P.S. If’n yew’d loike ter know more about the Widdlin’ton gangs, yew could do worse’n take a dekko at It don’t cost nuffink neither.

Sunday, 19 July 2015

Jenno's Greenhouse

Jennospot 124  Jenno’s Greenhouse
‘Ave yew got a green’ouse?

We ain’t got one in our garden ‘cos the chicken run already takes up a lot o’ room. But that don’t really matter ‘cos there’s some people wot reckon as ‘ow the whole World is a green’ouse an’ we’re makin’ it ‘otter an’ ‘otter by breathin’ out carbon dioxide, an’ riding around in motor cars, an’ such ovver stuff wot makes carbon dioxide, so it’s all our own stupid fault.

Any’ow, there’s a whole lot o’ argy-bargy goin’ on about all that; even about wevver it really is getting’ ‘otter. Yew see, the trouble is that the World ain’t got no fundamental orifice where yew c’n stick a thermometer -- not loike me when Oi ‘ad the chicken pox -- so yew’ve got ter work out wot yew fink the average temperature is in real complicated ways.

Well them wot believe as ‘ow we all live in a green’ouse wot’s getting’ 'otter an’ ‘otter, c’n believe it if’n they want, but it don’t seem ter make a whole lot o’ sense ter me, ‘cos the air in a green’ouse gets ‘ot when the sun shines ‘cos the air can’t get out through the glass, wot ain’t the case out in the World.

Besides, there ain’t normally no clouds in a green’ouse, an’ if’n yew fink about it, it’s when there are fewer clouds that it gets ‘ot. When there are more of ‘em their shadder cools fings down. So Oi reckon as ‘ow clouds ‘ave got a real lot ter do wiv whevver it gets ‘otter or colder.

An wot makes clouds?

Nobody don’t yet really know fer certain all about that, ‘cos it’s real complicated, jus’ loike wot measurin’ the temperature of the whole World is. Even so, it ain’t no secret as ‘ow the sun ‘as a lot ter do wiv makin’ clouds, an’ the sun ‘as been actin’ real peculiar lately. An’ Oi don’t reckon as ‘ow temperature ‘as much ter do wiv a real little bit o' gas loike wot yew find in a green’ouse, even if’n the green’ouse is as big as the whole World.

Any’ow, Oi’m goin’ ter show yew a few pictures wot’ll p’raps give yew a bit of an idea of wot Oi’m on about. An’ Oi’ll add some new ones from toime ter toime. Oi ‘ope yew loike ‘em, but if’n yew don’t, well yew don’t ‘ave ter look at ‘em do yew?
If'n yew loike romantic books about this sort o' stuff, yew c'd take a look at P St J's "Siberian Summer", But yew don't 'ave to unless yew want.

Luv from Jenno...
Jenno's Greenhouse 1:
Doin' climate science is friendly teamwork
an' discussion - sometoimes...

Jenno's Greenhouse 2:
A green'ouse is real good fer growin' greens -
'specially if'n yew add a bit o' carbon dioxide...


Jenno's Greenhouse 3:
Oi ain't no denier - Oi deny denyin' nuffink...

Jenno's Greenhouse 4:
Wevver yew loike it or not, weaver ain't climate...

Jenno's Greenhouse 5:
Oi reckon as 'ow there's far too much certainty
spoke when people go on about the climate.
The climate is real uncertain; cripes, Oi'm certain...!


Jenno's Greenhouse 6:
My climate science theory is right--
So there...!

Jenno's Greenhouse 7:
Countin' noses ain't doin' science. It ain't 'ow
many wot believe somefink, wot matters, but
wevver it's correct. 'Ave Oi got a consensus
on that...?
Jenno's Greenhouse 8:
Makin' models ain't doin' research; it's jus'
tinkerin' wiv equations an' numbers. Put in
somefink wot's wrong, or leave out somefink
wot's important, then cripes wot comes out when
yew crank the 'andle, ain't worf nuffink 'cept
ter tell yew yer wrong...

Jenno's Greenhouse 9:
Not ev'ryfink wot yew read about global warmin' c'n be true...

Jenno's Greenhouse 10:
Ev'ryfink 'as got ter fit the case-- if'n it don't, yer hypothesis ain't no good...

Makes yew fink don't it? Well, it ain't no more daft'n some of them ovver ideas floatin' around about the climate. An'  it don't give off no green'ouse gases neither-- well, not much any'ow...

Ter discover the real climate, Oi reckon as 'ow yew've got ter fink outside of the green'ouse box...
Wot yew believe is true -- particularly if'n it ain't -- leastways, that's wot Oi believe...
It were a cosmic ray wot done it...





Thursday, 18 December 2014

Dummy's Party

Jennospot 127  "Dummy’s Birthday Party"

Yuletide is a time for merry-makin' an' parties. So come an' join some wunnerful authors fer an Online Virtual Party wiv a whole lot o' fun readin', an' a few giveaway prizes...!

That noice Helen Hollick, wot writes real excitin’ books about pirates an’ ovver ‘istorical stuff, loike wot ‘appened a long toime ago in 1066 f’rinstance, ‘as asked us ter write somefink about parties. Any’ow, in Widdlin’ton we ‘ave lots o’ ordin’ry parties, wiv cake an’ jelly an’ games an’ such, but there were one wot we ‘ad fer Mr Pierce, wot everybody calls “Dummy”, wot got stuck in moi mem’ry special loike. But Oi ain’t all that good about writin’ stuff down, so Oi asked moi friend Peter ter put down a few words about it. So ‘ere it is. ‘Ope yew loike it:
I was the last to arrive at Dummy's birthday party. Everyone was sitting stiffly around the table in the school shelter. Nobody was speaking.

I went straight up to Mr Pearce. His much-worn clothes were too tight round the waist and under the arms. He seemed ill at ease.

‘Happy birthday, Daniel,’ I said.

‘Arrgh, thank'ee kindly,’ he replied. He showed his misshapen teeth through a matted beard in what was more a grimace than a smile.

‘What's the matter Daniel? Aren't they looking after you properly?’

‘Reckon as 'ow it's more'n a little whiles since ol' Dan'l 'ad a party fer 'is birthday. Reckon as 'ow 'ee's roight thankful. There be a fine cake with candles wot Miss Winnifred gave and Miss Molly's biscuits an' all.’

‘You could look a bit happier about it,’ I said.

‘Reckon ol' Dan'l's leavin' Widdlington afore soon. 'Ee'll be roight sad ter be leavin' 'is friends.’

‘You're not leaving today at any rate, and you're not in the lockup,’ said Molly.

‘So cheer up,’ said Winnifred.

‘Have some beer,’ said Miss Hangar.

‘Don't moind if'n Oi do,’ said Daniel.

‘Everyone's saying it was Daniel who sabotaged the survey of the allotments,’ said Leta.

‘But it wasn't him!’ exclaimed Winnifred. ‘And Mr Trundle knows it.’

‘Unfortunately, people will gossip,’ said Miss Hangar.

‘We know it wasn't you, Daniel,’ I said. ‘And we're going to prove it absolutely, so that it doesn't depend just on the word of Winnifred. We've already got some clues.’

‘That's right,’ said Roy. ‘But we need you to help us.’

Dummy looked bewildered. ‘Clues?’ he said. ‘'Ow can ol' Daniel 'elp when the Parish is puttin' 'im off'n the allotments and sendin' 'im into a home?’

‘It hasn't happened yet,’ said Roy.

‘And we're going to make sure it doesn't happen,’ said Molly. ‘Miss Hangar's going to help us.’
‘Of course she's going to help us,’ said Jenno in her best BBC voice, ‘Aren't you Miss Hangar?’

‘I, er—’  said Miss Hangar.

‘She's on the Parish Council,’ I said. ‘And she and Mr Trundle will tell the others what the truth is. Won't you Miss Hangar?’

‘I er— that is— yes. I'll certainly tell them the truth about the sabotage when I know myself what the truth is.’

‘See Daniel?’ said Roy. ‘But there are some things we need to know. And only you can tell us.’

‘Ar—?’ questioned Daniel.

‘For instance,’ I said. ‘Did you buy those Wellington boots you promised yourself for your birthday?

‘Mr Hibberd were roight put out when ol' Dan'l asked 'im. 'Ee din't roightly know 'ow ter come out wi' it. It's the war, 'ee said. Anything wot were rubber was next ter impossible ter come by. 'Ee said as 'ow 'ee'd be roight pleased ter favour me, but that it weren't fer termorrer nor the day after. When 'ee 'ad some Wellingtons in 'ee'd be rememberin' a pair fer ol' Dan'l.’

‘You didn't buy any then?’ asked Roy.

‘Arrgh— just so.’

‘You don't possess any other rubber boots?’ asked Jenno primly.

‘Where would ol' Dan'l be findin’ a shillin' or two fer rubber boots wot 'ee don't roightly need?’ replied Daniel.

‘The footprints aren't Daniel's,’ said Roy.

‘I never thought they were,’ said Winnifred.

‘Me neither,’ said Katy.

‘You are going to help then, Miss Hangar?’ said Jenno.

‘Yes Jenno, er— Jean,’ said Miss Hangar. ‘I'll do what I can; but you know, there's really very little I can do now concerning the allotments. The project is already approved and far advanced.

‘As for The Old Vicarage, it's a decision for the Church and the vicar. Any interference by the school would only arouse resentment. But I can certainly help Mr Pearce to learn to read and write. That way he could become independent of support from the Parish.’

‘And not go into a home!’ exclaimed Molly. She stuffed her knuckles into her mouth and looked horrified towards Daniel.

‘Don't ye be a-fazed none, Miss Molly,’ said Daniel gently. ‘Ol' Dan'l baint be deaf; 'ee knows roight well wot people say. 'Ee bain't be such a dummy as 'ow they think.’

An embarrassed silence fell. It was broken by Winnifred: ‘I think it's about time we lit the candles. Who's got some matches?’

‘I'll ask my mum,’ said Leta. ‘Wait a tic and I'll nip indoors and get some.’ She ran into the school caretaker's house and emerged a moment later rattling a box of matches. ‘We didn't know how many candles to put on, but in any case, Hibberd's store only had one box—it's the war you know—so we put them all on. There are twenty.’

‘Heh, heh,’ chuckled Daniel. ‘Roight kind ye be. Arrgh— but two-and-a-half boxes 'uld 'ave been more loike.’

‘Blow them all out in one go and you can make a wish,’ said Katy.

Daniel took a deep breath and blew. Twenty tiny flames disappeared to be replaced by twenty slender columns of smoke.

‘Make a wish,’ cried everyone.

‘But don't tell anyone until it comes true,’ cautioned Jenno.

Daniel shut his eyes; held them screwed tight and then opened them again.

‘Have you made a wish?’ asked Molly.

‘Aye,’ said Daniel.

‘And so have I,’ said Molly.


From "Gang Petition" Chapter 7

Thank yew fer joinin' in wiv our party. Oi 'ope yew liked moi bit. If'n yew like, yew c'n foller on now ter the next bit o' the fun... 

1. Helen Hollick : “You are Cordially Invited to a Ball” (plus a giveaway prize) -  

2. Alison Morton : "Saturnalia surprise - a winter party tale”  (plus a giveaway prize) -

3. Andrea Zuvich : No Christmas For You! The Holiday Under Cromwell -

4. Ann Swinfen : Christmas 1586 – Burbage’s Company of Players Celebrates -

5. Anna Belfrage :  All I want for Christmas (plus a giveaway prize)

6. Carol Cooper : How To Be A Party Animal -

7. Clare Flynn :  A German American Christmas -

8. Debbie Young :  Good Christmas Housekeeping (plus a giveaway prize)

9. Derek Birks :  The Lord of Misrule - A Medieval Christmas Recipe for Trouble -

10. Edward James : An Accidental Virgin and An Uninvited Guest - and - 

11. Fenella J. Miller : Christmas on the Home front (plus a giveaway prize) -

12. J. L. Oakley :  Christmas Time in the Mountains 1907 (plus a giveaway prize) -

13. Jude Knight : Christmas at Avery Hall in the Year of Our Lord 1804 -

14. Julian Stockwin: Join the Party -  
15Juliet Greenwood : Christmas 1914 on the Home Front (plus a giveaway) -
16. Lauren Johnson :  Farewell Advent, Christmas is come" - Early Tudor Festive Feasts -
17. Lucienne Boyce :  A Victory Celebration -
18. Nancy Bilyeau :  Christmas After the Priory (plus a giveaway prize) -
19. Nicola Moxey : The Feast of the Epiphany, 1182 -
20. Peter St John:  Dummy’s Birthday - Hi! Yew're already 'ere. So there ain't no link.
21. Regina Jeffers : Celebrating a Regency Christmas  (plus a giveaway prize) -
22. Richard Abbott : The Hunt – Feasting at Ugarit -
23. Saralee Etter : Christmas Pudding -- Part of the Christmas Feast -
24. Stephen Oram : Living in your dystopia: you need a festival of enhancement… (plus a giveaway prize) -
25. Suzanne Adair :The British Legion Parties Down for Yule 1780 (plus a giveaway prize) - 

26. Lindsay Downs: O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree -  (plus a giveaway prize)

Thank yew fer joinin' us. 'Ave yerself a real enjoyable Christmas, wiv luv from Jenno...!