Sunday, 18 May 2014

Gang Warfare

Jennospot 120 Gang Warfare

There are four gangs in moi village o' Widdlin'ton, an' there’s anuvver real rough one at the edge of town nearby. Some of the kids from that last one come ter moi school wot c’n make fings a bit difficult at toimes.

Any’ow, because of these different gangs, each one wot n’as it’s own rules about girls joinin’ ‘em, there were a kind o’ war started. There’s even some wot say as ow it were all moi fault jus’ because Oi got a soapbox cart wot is named after Emmeline Pankhurst, wot is a calumny ‘cos Oi didn’t ‘ave nuffink ter do wiv it wotsoever; well, ardly nuffink any’ow.

If’n yew want proof o’ that, yew c’d do worse than read wot Peter St John wrote about it. It’s in abook called “Gang Warfare” an’ it’s jus’ come out all new in paperback from SilverWood books. Oi know it’s true, ‘cos it were me wot told PStJ all about it. Even so , I ‘ad ter keep correctin’ im ovverwise ‘ee’d ‘ave gone all off the rails wiv the specially dramatic bits, loike the firewood ambush, the battle wiv Mrs Jay, the barney at the Spitfire drive, and the big air-raid.

Any'ow, “Gang Warfare” is out an' rampagin' around. Leastways, if'n it ain't rampagin', it jolly well ought ter be, 'cos it ain't ev'ry day when yew get a whole lot o' village gangs fightin’ tergevver under one cover, so ter speak. Cripes, there's enough rough stuff goin' on where they're separated inter their diff'rent territories, never moind when they're squashed tergevver in a little book. Not only that, it’s me on the cover, wot ought ter be worf somefink at any rate. There’s lots of ovver coloured pictures an all.

An cripes, ‘ow c’n it be moi fault if some of the people in the village don't get along. People are jus' loike that: They're perfec'ly able not ter loike one anovver fer no good reason at all. But when yew fink that in Widdlin'ton there are lots o' real good reasons fer not getting' along well wot c'n yew expect…?

O' 'corse Oi get on pretty good wiv most ev'rybody, 'cept "Slug" Snaylor natch, an' that there Heebie Jeebie Phoebe at the Post Office. Yew can't count Bill Bates, wot 'elps 'is dad at the butchers, Oi mean, 'ee's jus' plain thick, an' 'is two off-siders are pretty much non compos mentis an' all. Oi ain't a-goin' ter mention J.J. 'cos 'ee's moi gang leader in the Pepper Mill Lane, but Oi reckon as 'ow fings would be better between us if'n 'ee 'ad a bit more respect fer girls, 'specially fer girls loike me. Any'ow, Oi reckon as 'ow Oi've made moi point, 'cos Oi'm real easy ter get on wiv if'n yew treat me roight. See wot Oi mean…?

Any'ow, if'n yew'd loike ter know a bit more about all that, yew c'd take a look at "Gang Warfare” wot wouldn’t ‘ave come out at all if’n it weren’t fer me (even though P St J 'as put 'is name on the cover).

Luv from Jenno…